An order of service is a booklet or sheet given to people attending the funeral. It guides everyone through the ceremony and becomes a keepsake of the day. It also allows you to reflect your loved one’s life in a thoughtful, personal way.  

One of the first decisions is what to include. There are no strict rules. You can follow a traditional structure or create something that feels more personal to your family. Most orders of service begin with a clear plan of the day so that people know what will happen, and then add elements that reflect the person you have lost.  

You can either use a template or make your own, personalising it with colours or themes and including photo collages. Make sure you print some extra copies for those unable to attend who may also value a copy. 

Front cover details 

Start with the basics. Include your loved one’s full name and dates of birth and death. You can add the funeral date, time and location if you wish. A photograph usually goes on the front, this can be a formal portrait or a relaxed image that shows them as they were at home, on holiday or doing something they loved.  

The front cover can help set the tone of the service. Some choose a favourite quote, poem line or simple message. A short anecdote that captures their character makes it feel personal. For example, one family wrote a line their father always said before a road trip. Another included a snippet of a poem the deceased loved reading. These small touches help people feel the person’s presence in the room. 

Welcome and introduction 

The first page inside the order of service usually has a welcome message. This can be written by the officiant, celebrant or a family member. It might also explain briefly what the service will include. Clear wording helps people understand the flow.  

For some families, this introduction becomes a place to reflect personality. One couple wrote about their mother’s kindness and love of tea, adding a gentle note to an emotional day. 

You can also add thanks for people attending (or those unable to do so) or people have cared for the person who has died. 

Order of events 

List the sequence of events so people can follow the service easily. This typically starts with music as guests gather. It may include hymns or songs that were meaningful to your loved one. Some families play music they shared at home or that reflect the life they lived.  

Next comes the core of the ceremony. This can include: 

• Eulogy or tribute, often read by family or a close friend. 

• Readings, which could be religious texts, favourite poems, or something personal. 

• Moments of reflection or silence. 

• Music or hymns at points chosen by your family.  

Having the sequence clearly laid out helps everyone feel included, especially if they will take part in any readings or music. 

Personalised elements 

This is where a funeral order of service becomes uniquely yours. Many families include photos from different stages of life, short stories or favourite sayings. One family had space for a short life timeline showing key moments and achievements. Another included a page of favourite recipes from their loved one’s kitchen, because cooking was what brought the family together on special occasions.  

Depending on the service style, some booklets add a page for people to write their own memories later or a “memory page” where friends can sign and leave messages. 

Readings and music 

A section of the booklet can list readings and music selections with short explanations of why they were chosen. If there are hymns that will be sung, include the titles and lyrics if space allows. Sometimes a favourite lyric from a pop song or classical piece can bring comfort and familiarity.  

Tributes and anecdotes 

Encourage family and close friends to contribute short written tributes, especially if speeches are not planned during the service itself. These can be a few lines about what the person meant to them, or even a small story that makes people smile. If someone was known for a particular anecdote, you might include it in a dedicated section of the booklet so that it lives on. Many families have done this with stories about holidays, family traditions or moments that capture the person’s humour, courage or personality.  

Committal and farewell 

The order of service should explain the committal part of the ceremony. This is the farewell moment when the coffin or ashes are committed at the crematorium or at the graveside. It is traditionally solemn, but you can personalise it with music or a final reading that feels right for your family.  

Closing and donations 

At the back of the booklet you can include a thank you message from the family to those who have travelled or supported you. You might add details of any reception or gathering after the service. If your loved one supported a charity, add information for donations in their memory, eg the reasons for the choice and whether there will be a collection for a chosen charity either at the door or online.  

Keepsake quality 

Remember that the order of service often becomes a keepsake. Many families treasure these booklets afterwards and pass them on to distant relatives or close friends so, if the budget allows, choose nice paper and quality printing. Making them reflect your loved one’s life and personality ensures they feel like more than just a schedule for the day.