Talking about death is never easy. Yet what we leave unsaid can weigh heavily on those we love after we are gone. In the UK fewer than a quarter of adults have set out a clear funeral plan, and every year families find themselves guessing at "what Mum would have wanted" while struggling with rising costs and paperwork. By thinking ahead, writing things down and sharing our choices, we spare relatives that uncertainty and give ourselves the best chance of the farewell we would choose.

The good news? Funeral planning is not about dwelling on death. It is about life, love and making your own choices. Below you will find a step by step guide that will help you record your preferences, protect your budget and avoid family disagreements. At the end you will see how The Farewell Guide can support you.

1. Why bother planning at all?

• Peace of mind for everyone
  When wishes are written down, relatives do not have to make painful guesses or face disagreements.

• Financial clarity
  Funeral directors must follow your instructions, but those instructions need to exist. A written plan lets you set a realistic spend and put money aside if you wish.

• Freedom of choice
  The traditional black car and hymns funeral still suits many families. Others prefer a Celebration of Life, a direct cremation or a natural burial. Planning gives you time to explore every option.

2. What goes into a funeral plan?

The Farewell Guide makes this step easy. Our online planner is simple to use and helps you build a personalised funeral plan quickly. You can save it, send it to loved ones, and update it anytime. It’s a practical way to make your wishes known without any fuss.

Think of a plan as a menu rather than a contract. It can be short-just a page or two, and you can update it whenever circumstances change.

3. Direct cremation: why it is growing

Roughly 17% of UK funerals are now direct cremations, a figure that has doubled in a decade. This route separates the task of body disposal from any service: the cremation is unattended, then family and friends gather later in their own way.

• Cost control: Direct cremation usually costs less than half the price of a traditional funeral.

• Flexibility: Memorial events can be arranged weeks or months later, allowing more time to plan.

• Suits modern lifestyles: With loved ones spread across the country or overseas, it can be hard to get everyone together in a few days.

• No fuss: Some people simply do not want a cortege, chapel or formalities.

It is not for everyone, but if you lean towards simplicity or have only a few guests in mind, it is worth considering.

4. Celebration of Life: the new cultural norm

Britain is becoming increasingly non religious. Even many churchgoers now prefer funerals that focus on life stories, hobbies and shared memories rather than formal rites. A Celebration of Life may still include prayers or hymns, but often the centrepiece is a warm account of the person who has died.

Typical ingredients:

• A photo slideshow or playlist.

• Guests wearing something that nods to the person—a football jersey, gardening hat or bright scarf.

• Memory cards or an online wall where friends can share stories.

• A symbolic gesture such as planting bulbs or releasing seed paper.

If this style of send off appeals to you, say so clearly in your plan. Otherwise, relatives may fall back on older traditions.

5. Green and eco friendly choices

Sustainability is a growing concern:

• Natural burial grounds let you rest in a biodegradable coffin under native trees, with minimal chemicals and often no headstone—just a wooden marker or QR code.

• Resomation (alkaline hydrolysis) and human composting are on the horizon, although legal frameworks are still evolving.

• Locally sourced flowers and reduced transport miles help shrink the carbon footprint of a conventional service.

If an eco friendly farewell matters to you, highlight it near the top of your document. Suppliers need clear guidance to source the right materials.

6. Sorting out the money

a) Pre paid funeral plans

These let you lock in certain costs at today’s prices with a regulated provider. They are not savings accounts or over 50s life insurance. Read the small print on what is guaranteed (e.g. cremation fee, basic coffin, hearse) and what may still rise (e.g. doctor’s certificates, flowers).

b) Funeral insurance or life cover

A small policy can free up cash quickly for relatives. Be aware that premiums over many years can exceed the eventual payout.

c) Savings ring fenced in a separate account

Often the simplest route. Leave instructions on how to access the funds and, if possible, nominate the account under the Funeral Expenses Payment scheme so the bank can release money promptly.

d) Your Will

Funeral wishes written only in a Will can be missed because a Will is often read after the funeral. So put the essentials elsewhere too, in a stand alone plan shared with your executors.

7. Talking to your family

A plan on paper is useless if nobody knows it exists. Three tips:

1. Hold a short family chat
   Frame it as a kindness to them: "I’m jotting down a few things so you are not left guessing."

2. Choose one trusted person to be the keeper of the document. That could be your executor, a child or a close friend.

3. Review together after major life events such as marriage, divorce, house moves or serious illness.

If face to face feels too heavy, write a letter or record a short video explaining your choices. Seeing your face or reading your handwriting will reassure relatives that these were truly your wishes.

8. Digital legacies and online lives

Our modern identities live partly on the internet. Include instructions on:

• Social media accounts—memorialise or delete?

• Photo libraries and playlists—where they are stored and who may access them.

• Cloud documents and subscription services that should be closed to prevent fees.

• Passwords—store them in a reputable password manager with a named legacy contact.

9. Step by step checklist

1. Start a fresh document titled "Funeral wishes".

2. List the basics: full name, date of birth, NHS number, GP details.

3. Select disposition: burial, cremation or other.

4. Describe the ceremony: style, music, readings, dress code, flowers or donations.

5. Name key people: officiant, speakers, pall bearers.

6. Budget line: maximum spend or reference to a plan or policy.

7. Decide on memorial if any.

8. Add digital legacy requests.

9. Store copies with your Will, GP notes (if you wish) and your appointed keeper.

10. Tell loved ones where it is and update every five years or when circumstances change.

10. Common worries answered

"I do not want to burden my children with cost."
A clear plan plus even a modest savings pot can remove that fear. Relatives can also claim reasonable funeral expenses from your estate before other debts are settled.

"My family are religious, but I am not."
Write down exactly what you are comfortable with—perhaps a hymn you enjoy and a secular reading. Blending traditions is common now.

"What if relatives ignore my wishes?"
Funeral directors are guided by the person who signs the contract (usually the executor or next of kin). Choose that person wisely and give them a copy of your plan.

"I might change my mind."
You are allowed to. Keep a note of the latest version’s date so there is no confusion.

11. How The Farewell Guide helps

At The Farewell Guide our mission is simple: to make end of life planning clear, affordable and personal.

• Online planning tool—record your wishes, save them, send them to loved ones, and update whenever you like.

• Compare prices—see real time costs for funeral directors, crematoria and burial sites in your area.

• Independent guides and checklists—from managing digital legacies to exploring eco options.

Whether you want a full attended service or a quiet direct cremation, whether you hope for jazz, hymns or birdsong, we give you the information and confidence to set it all out. Your wishes, your budget, your farewell.

12. Next steps

1. Block out thirty minutes this week.

2. Visit www.thefarewellguide.co.uk and start your plan.

3. Fill in the first few sections (don’t worry about perfection)

4. Tell one relative where the document lives.

5. Revisit in six months and update as life evolves.

A little time now saves a great deal of heartache later. More importantly, it gives your loved ones the certainty that they are doing exactly what you would have wanted, and it gives you the comfort of knowing that your life will be honoured in a way that feels right to you.

Because a good farewell starts with a plan.
 

Further Reading:

How are Prepaid Funeral Plans Regulated?

Putting Together a 'Death File': How to Get Organised Before You Die

Talking To Your Family About Funeral Wishes